Jealousy can be a serious problem for the person experiencing it and the person who is the object of the obsession, the person who is jealous, will experience a raft of negative emotions that completely controlling their life and make them miserable. Being jealous will also compel you to behave in ways that are detrimental to having a loving relationship, and in this state, you may believe you love the person who is you’re obsession, but you're wrong. It is not love; it is something completely different. Hypnosis for jealousy solves this problem.
In this post I will explain exactly what jealousy is, how it can drive a whole list of behaviours that will cause the people involved a lot of pain, I will then explain how to treat jealousy using hypnosis for jealousy so the person who gets jealous can be freed from this curse and have a normal loving relationship.
Definition of Jealousy
The Cambridge Dictionary definition of Jealousy as (https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/jealous)
Upset and angry because someone that you love seems interested in another person:
A jealous husband/wife
Anna says she feels jealous every time another woman looks at her boyfriend.
The Dictionary.com Dictionary definition of Jealousy as (https://www.dictionary.com/browse/jealous)
Feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages (often followed by of):
He was jealous of his rich brother.
Feeling resentment because of another's success, advantage, etc. (often followed by of):
He was jealous of his brother's wealth.
Characterised by or proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment:
a jealous rage; jealous intrigues.
Inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims:
A jealous husband.
Solicitous or vigilant in maintaining or guarding something.
The American people are jealous of their freedom.
Bible. intolerant of unfaithfulness or rivalry:
The Lord is a jealous God.
More Accurate Definition of Jealousy
The above definitions are really vague and very broad. It is hard to understand what exactly being jealous means. We will define it more accurately so it’s easily understood.
Jealousy is often confused with envy. Envy and jealousy are quite different, however. Envy is a reaction to lack something and wanting what someone else has. You might be envious of someone’s good looks, or their beautiful home, their money, their wife etc. Jealousy, on the other hand, is the feeling that someone might try to take your partner away from you, or that your partner will cheat on you or even leave you but the ultimate fear is your partner leaving you.
People who are jealous have low self-esteem, so they feel they are useless, not good enough, worthless, unloveable a failure, etc. People with low self-esteem also may have lots of anxiety and anger. They desperately need to feel all the following emotions to feel they - are good enough, worthy, lovable etc, but they cannot get these feelings from themselves so they have to seek this validation from someone else (external validation). The problem with seeking validation and self-esteem externally is you have no control over it or how it is given to you, and it can also be taken away just as easily.
When you're jealous and in a relationship, you need constant validation to feel good about your-self but the flip side of this is you’re scared your partner will either cheat on you or leave you or both! After all, you know that you are useless, not good enough, worthless, unloveable a failure who in their right mind would want to be with you or even love you. You are also so scared if they leave you will never find anyone else ever again, so this is really serious to you. It can be life and death, you’re constantly dwelling on this worrying about it and it literally consumes your life.
So if your partner did cheat or leave you or both in your mind, it means that you are useless, not good enough, worthless, unloveable, a failure undeserving of happiness. You will attempt to avoid this happening at all costs, this is where jealousy is born in an attempt to prevent your-self from feeling all of these feelings and you will sometimes go to extreme measures in some cases violence to prevent feeling these emotions.
You have given all the control of your self-worth to your partner you then go to extraordinary measure to get back the control of your self-worth like it is an object held by your partner, you will try to isolate, control and prevent the loss of your self-worth through manipulation and control of your partner. Below are some behaviours that you may resort too in trying to keep control of your self-esteem.
Some or all of this is happening outside your conscious awareness, you may know some of it or you may not. People are somewhat oblivious most of the time, you're just swept along by your thoughts and emotions, you're just reacting to them. Think of yourself as a robot. You learn something; you automate it, it then becomes a subconscious habit completely outside your conscious control. Some people finally become aware of these thoughts, emotions and behaviours and their consequences and then seek help to fix the problem.
Behaviours of Jealousy
A person who is jealous is constantly asking their partner where they were, who they were with, and what they were doing. You may checkup on them by looking on their phone, computer at their texts or emails to see who they are communicating with and what they are saying. You may follow them online facebook, twitter to monitor them, you may follow them when they leave the house. You may install a tracking app on their phone, car so you can track them.
You get upset when they talk to people of the opposite sex and, in extreme cases, friends or people who are the same sex. You may think that they are encouraging the opposite sex by flirting, even though they are not. The jealousy distorts your view of what is happening, so you filter all these interactions to mean that they are flirting with these people when they are not. You're constantly looking for evidence they are going to cheat.
When in public you want people to know your together so you may insist on public displays of affection, you force them to wear jewellery that says you're taken or joint Facebook updates, your constantly marking your territory or property to let others know they are taken.
You make statements like “You’re mine,” or “No one will ever love you like I do,” “I can’t live without you.” “If you ever leave, I will kill myself.” These are designed to manipulate the person they supposedly love to stop them from leaving. They are trying to use emotional blackmail to force a person to stay with them.
You may try to control your partner by controlling who they can see or what they can do. You want them to check in with you all the time and you want you to spend all your time with them.
You may find that you argue more and more as time goes on. As your behaviour continues, you may humiliate your partner in public if it means protecting your relationship; for example, you may yell at them and grab their arm to make them leave a gathering. You may even resort to physical abuse.
Some men when they marry their partner they don’t want them to work, all money is kept in their account so that their partner has no access to the account, they will give them an allowance each week like a child, the ownership of the house, cars etc is only in their name. They are attempting to control their partner by making it impossible for them to leave because they have no access to money, assets, or resources which would enable them to leave.
In extreme cases, they may virtually hold them prisoner in their own home, no friends or family and they not allowed to leave the house.
Hypnosis for Jealousy
I contacted Rodney at my wits end when life wasn’t worth living day to day, My marriage was falling apart in front of my very eyes along with my life , and I had a realisation that I was second guessing everything in my life. Something was not as it should be and it became clear that it was me.
I contacted Rodney to help me overcome these terrible thoughts that were going through my head Rodney delved into my past and found out that my sub conscious was hurting me from my previous marriage some 10 years earlier. I had developed a fear and insecurity that I was not aware of until my world started to unravel. I was so negative and distrustful about my Wife’s every move, action, words,relationships with other male friends it was hell inside my head .
I was struggling every minute I was going crazy, life didn’t seem to be worth living 😥 After seeing Rodney, He was able to erase the Demons inside my head and help me move forward with my life as a new Man & Husband and I can’t thank you enough Rodney. Rodney’s unique gift is truly amazing and I would recommend him to anyone to overcome Life’s ’ challenges that face us day to day .
Thanks Rodney, Trav 😎
Relationship Problems, Trust Issues and self-Esteem issues
I came with low expectation and curious mind, and went home with doubt if anything would change after the first appointment, but in the following weeks and months, things profoundly changed. My perception shifted, the voice of doubt disappeared, and I confidently quitted my job 2 weeks after and had great career break I have been longing for but afraid to take, and 4 months later was headhunted to my dream job!
By the time I finally get to write this review for him, I have seen him twice for different issues, each time was a great success and game changer for me. I am comfortable with discussing sensitive issues with my partner without feeling unloved or pain, and I am more confident in handling challenging situations in life. Rodney is an enabler for me, he removed my road blockers and enabled me to reach my potential.
Thank you, Rodney, hope more and more people get your help like me.
When I first went to see Rodney I was in a very dark place. I was abused physically and mentally as a child by my mother, also sexually abused by more than one family member. I struggled with emotions for over 50 years.
I had recently had a meltdown and everything in my life came back emotionally. I went to see Rodney and I am in such a great place now.
Even when I think back on things in my life that once brought me down, they no longer affect me.
for all you have done.
I first contacted Rodney in a frantic state. The week leading up to making that call to Rodney was hectic. My relationship was on the rocks, I was under enormous pressure at work and I had a realisation that my world was crumbling down around me because I was unable to trust anyone. Something was out of balance and it became clear that it was me.
I contacted Rodney to help me overcome the horrible trust issues I harboured. Unbeknownst to me, it turns out I was still carrying a world of hurt from my previous relationship some 6 years earlier. I had developed so many barriers over the years to guard me from being hurt that I trusted no one! If I kept going on the path I was on, it would have been the demise of my new found love and I would have lost the one person I truly cared about.
I was so pent up with negativity and distrust that I proceeded to "grill" Rodney about his qualifications the moment I walked into my first session. Some 50 minutes later I was free from all that negativity and distrust. Now... All is well and I am moving forwards in my life and relationship.
How Do You Become Jealous?
Events That Trigger Jealousy
There are a host of things that may have happened to you or someone close in the past that may trigger off jealousy for example maybe your parents got divorced when you are young, maybe one or both parents left you when your were young, or maybe one of your parents was unfaithful to the other. One of your ex’s cheated on you in the past or maybe you have cheated on you’re own partners in the past so you can’t trust others. If you have cheated, how can you trust others not to cheat on you, can you? All of these can trigger off you becoming jealous. There are also many other things that could cause it as well.
Many people who have been cheated on become jealous because they fear that their current partner will cheat on them because of what their previous partner did, which will compel them to behave as described above.
So all the above will develop a fear of being left, abandoned, cheated on and to explain all this people make up stuff about them-self I must be useless, not good enough, worthless, unlovable. I’m a bad person, I’m ugly; I’m fat; I am… It goes on and on and they may be consciously aware of this or maybe they are not consciously aware of this it’s all happening subconsciously but all of it produces jealousy and then makes them adopt the behaviours described above to try to prevent their greatest fear from becoming true which is being left.
Fear of Being Alone
Often, people who experience jealousy also experience a severe fear of being alone because if they are alone, it means that I am useless, not good enough, worthless, unlovable. Who would want to be with me? They are a complete failure, so they are desperate to avoid this at all costs and if they are single, they are extremely desperate to get into a relationship so they can feel better and escape all those feelings. Some people will stay in a relationship until they have someone else lined up to be with before leaving their current partner for the new one, which is completely driven by fear of being alone.
This all happens, usually subconsciously. The negative emotions motivate us to move away from them and the only way to escape these emotions is to get into a relationship then we feel better, so we have negative away from emotions we are trying to escape. Then we have the towards emotions like I’m good enough, I’m worthy, I’m loveable and we are drawn towards these emotions which we get when we are in a relationship so we are compelled to try to find a partner to be in a relationship with.
However, once they are in a relationship, the jealousy kicks in and they are just as miserable as they were when they are single but at least they are not alone so they don’t feel worthless, not good enough, unlovable etc as intently as they do when they are alone, plus the fear of being left and being alone traps them in the relationship because they have to avoid being left and being alone at all costs.
This is why people who are really unhappy in their relations stay and don’t leave. The fear of leaving is greater than staying, it’s also why people stay in abusive relationships. The negative emotions associated with leaving are far greater than staying, so as the saying goes, better the devil I know than the one I don’t know.
Feeling Jealous Means I Must Be in Love?
The short answer is no. Some people confuse jealousy with passion, they may see jealousy and insecure behaviour as a sign that their love is very strong. But there is no place for jealousy in a healthy relationship.
When your thoughts are predominantly about losing the person you love, so that you are constantly focusing on the negative rather than the positive, jealousy places an immense strain on the relationship. There is no trust and to have a healthy relationship, you have to have trust. Without it, you have emotional pain.
No, feeling jealous doesn’t mean I must be in love it is the opposite, you’re focused on not what you feel for the other person you're focused on how you will feel if they cheat or leave which is all negative and there is absolutely no love it is an illusion all you feel is bad and when you think you feel love it is not real, it’s more of a good feeling that they have not left or a lapse in you feeling those negative emotions. You're not focused on positive feelings of love for your partner your focused on your own fears.
Many of my clients who have been in bad relationships and shouldn’t be in them I have asked how they would feel about leaving their partner if they felt good about them-self and didn’t feel scared to be by them-self overwhelmingly all said they would leave in an instant. So it is not about love, it is about feeling unlovable and failure.
We trick ourselves because if we stay in a miserable relationship we have to rationalise and justify it to make ourselves feel better about ourself and our decision to stay so to understand why we stay the only explanation is well I must be in love with them why would I stay in this miserable relationship when I am so miserable all the time, well it must be because I am still in love with them! This is how we lie to ourselves to try to understand the reason for staying in the relationship, it’s just a rationalisation to make yourself feel better for not leaving.
The Role of Trust in Relationships
The most importing thing in a relationship is trust you have to trust your partner to not cheat on you or leave you. The moment you lose this trust, you invite into your life jealousy and your life takes on a living hell.
Because when you're in the relationship and you're jealous, you are experiencing nothing but negative emotions you would feel if you were actually alone. In fact, you would be better off being alone, then you would not have too constantly worry about your partner cheating or leaving you, you wouldn’t have the emotional rollercoaster ride.
So if you're alone, you feel like shit and if you're in a relationship you feel like shit but much worse because of the constant worrying, arguing, fighting, etc. So you never really feel happy and loved you alway feel unhappy and unloved and scared your partner will cheat or leave or both.
When you have trust well, you don’t experience any of the thoughts or emotions associated with jealousy. You're happy living your life and you just don’t think about or worry about what might happen. You're living more in the present.
So without trust in a relationship, you just don’t have a relationship. It is that simple.
Why Can’t I Stop Being Jealous?
99% of what we do is automatic and subconscious. We are like robots; we are half asleep all the time. So we learn how to do something, we automate it and it then becomes subconscious. Once it’s subconscious, it’s outside our conscious control, we can no longer change it unless we do something like hypnotherapy. For example, when in a relationship how many times have you told your partner not to do xxxx because it upsets you but they just keep doing it or maybe they stop for a while then start doing it again, it’s because they are on autopilot they are half asleep and it’s what they have been programmed to do. So they are not trying to hurt you or do it on purpose, it’s just an automated habit.
So once you have learned the thoughts and behaviours of being jealous well it becomes subconscious you may be aware your behaving jealously but don’t want to and would love to stop being this way but you just cannot stop being jealous it just happens to you whether you want it or not because you have automated it at a subconscious level.
How to Use Hypnosis for Jealousy to Eliminate Jealousy
So the only way possible to eliminate jealousy is to remove or disconnect all emotions associated with your jealousy, the fear of them leaving, the fear being unlovable, the fear of being alone etc and all associated thoughts is through using hypnosis for jealousy.
Can you think of an acquaintance that you bump into now and then maybe you talk to them maybe you don’t maybe it’s someone you see on the train going to work, well you don’t have many emotions associated with them so you don’t think of them ever unless you see them and you don’t think of them much or for long. This is what will happen when we remove the emotions associated with jealousy. You just will stop worrying about it.
So by removing the emotions and thoughts of jealousy, we are effectively stopping you from having any of the thoughts or fears from crossing your mind, you will remember you used to be jealous but you just won’t be able to be that way anymore or feel those emotions.
We also need to remove any emotions you have associated with being alone and finding a new partner, so nothing will stop you from reverting back to these jealousy types of thoughts and feelings.
So as you can see, emotions are the cause and solution to your problem. Using hypnosis for jealousy to remove your jealousy, we can eliminate this problem.
How Do I Remove Emotions Using Hypnotherapy for Jealousy?
Well, the only way I know that we can achieve this is through using NLP and hypnotherapy for jealousy, by removing the emotions associated with them. But be careful not all hypnotherapists practising hypnotherapy for jealousy know how to work with emotions and remove them.
Different Types of Hypnotherapy for Jealousy
Most hypnotherapy approaches don’t work to eliminate the jealousy problem in this way. Most hypnotherapists work by introducing suggestions into your subconscious mind to change your thoughts and hence your behaviours, so it can work great with behaviour problems but not emotions. Unfortunately, most hypnotherapists are taught this behavioural suggestion type of hypnotherapy for jealousy.
As a Hypnotherapist, I was lucky to be taught by someone who knew how to work with emotions, and I have helped many people with all sorts of problems, including hypnotherapy for jealousy by removing anchored emotions from their fears of being left.
So we will remove all emotions that trigger all the thoughts of jealousy like anxiety, anger, sad, worthless, etc.
Test at the End of My Hypnotherapy Jealousy
At the end of my hypnotherapy jealousy sessions as a test, I get you to go back to all the times you can remember being jealous and you won’t be able to get any of the old emotions, physical sensations from those memories. This means you will not automatically go into you’re old automatic emotions and behaviours from the past because we have broken the old patterns. This is how we know the hypnotherapy jealousy session has worked.
These days I am seeing more and more people for this problem and helping them eliminate their jealousy so they can have a more fulfilling relationship.
More On Hypnosis for Jealousy?
Would you like to learn more about how Synergy hypnotherapy can help you eliminate your jealousy and related problems? So you can feel more relaxed, happier being able to cope with life easier and things just won't bother you like they used to.
Then visit our Relationship Problems service's page or...